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Comfortably numb…


Is resting in a place.


I have an open inbox policy at splashman@live.co.uk

Next door’s cat.

image upload no limit

post – op post :-)

Nicky (@4boysareplenty) came back to her room at 12.03, awake but not quite with it. She has got more with it as the day has gone on and has just managed half a shortbread and a cuppa through a straw.

The consultant has been to see her twice, he says the operation went well. The tumour was quite large and constrictive in the nerve canal, there was a nerve through the tumour.

She has to stay on her back for 48 hours but they also have her swapping sides at intervals. It will be Thursday before she is allowed to sit up and will then be assessed for physio. In the meantime she has some ankle rotating to perfect.

My wife is in hospital…

Nicky (@4boysareplenty) is having an operation today, an ‘upper lumber laminectomy for microscopic excision of intramural tumour’ to be precise. She has a benign tumour which has attached itself to (or grown from) a nerve within her spinal chord cavity. The tumour (neurofibroma) is about the size of a grape and will probably have been growing for about the last 10 years.

The symptoms of this have been sudden and intense sciatic type pain in her leg, usually at the worst possible times for her, ie while walking to school or maybe lifting George etc.

The operation is to cut into her spine to access the cavity and remove the tumour from the nerve.

We checked her into hospital at 6.45 this morning, I left her at 7.30 to come get the boys to school. She texted me at 8.30 to say the consultant had seen her and she’d be going to theatre shortly.

I got back to wait for her at 10.  There’s no bed, sure enough she’s in theatre.  She is likely going to have to lay down for the next 24 hours and will be in hospital until Friday we expect.

I will update further later on. Just to say also thank you to our friends who are rallying round to help Xx

What if:

We’ve been deciding what we’d do if we won any of the following denominations on the lottery.  We now have a plan for each instance.

£50, 000

Without giving away specific personal circumstances, what would your plans be?

She’s gone, let’s fix stuff…

The Thatcher dispatcher has done his bit, we all know Margaret Thatcher knocked the Great (that it seems Clement Attlee put there?) off Great Britain.  How do we become great again?

I don’t mean Great as in empire constructing, colony gathering etc, if that’s where ‘Great’ came from even. I mean great as in, caring, sharing and looking out for each other.  Looking after those who for some reason or another can’t do it for themselves.

How are we to redistribute wealth?  Where do we draw the line, speedboats?

Yes let us draw the line at speedboats.  Last night I watched The Syndicate, it’s a TV programme about normal people (I say normal, every one of them has a little criminal intent, acted on or otherwise, if not quite criminal then morally deviant), these normal people are in a lotto syndicate that wins £75m on the UK lottery.  One member of the syndicate is shown buying a luxury speedboat, because he can.

So, line drawn, speedboats.  No one is now allowed a speedboat as it’s a luxury expense too far when we need over £300bn to fund welfare including the NHS.  By my calculation, and by looking at the second hand Sunseeker Yacht market, that’s 75,000 of us who are going to have to give up our speedboats to fund this big spend.  Who’s with me?  Let’s brand this “Sunseekers for Jobseekers“.

Now we have a level playing field, no one has their boat anymore.  This isn’t enough, surely it isn’t fair that a shelf stacker may earn 9k while a CEO could be earning 100k.  Both people need the other position for the wheels of industry to turn therefore let them both have 50k.  Let’s throw the 9k difference into some sort of trust fund, not sure what for yet as we’ve already nearly created Perfect Britain.

Let us imagine for one minute that I’m Teal, the shelf stacker at your local Sainsbury’s and the above is my idea.  I now think that the above amazing idea (splitting the 100k) is worthy of reward above and beyond my 50k, but I’m not greedy so I’ll just take a one off 1k bonus, 8k can go in the trust fund.  If however I have another great idea next year then we’ll discuss this further as maybe I’m worth 51k per annum.

I’m now dreaming of how to use this extra money, it’s affecting my ability to continue drawing up this fair society.

Concentrate, level playing field, we all live in the same house now.  By the same house I mean same specification, not the SAME house that would be silly.  We can’t have things different otherwise the whole greed thing kicks in again.  We are all going to have the same magnolia box, 2.4 bedrooms, 1.9 children.  Clearly we need to kick Mr & Mrs Windsor out of Buckingham Palace for this to be fair.  Well not actually kick them out, there are 775 rooms that can be divided up between 155 families, maybe Liz and Phil get first choice for length of service?

What next then, what else do we need to do?  I’ve laid the foundation, it’s for you now to comment below, think long and hard about how to make society fair.  This model will be rolled out across the world when we’ve mastered it for although Margaret Thatcher invented ‘poor’ other likeminded people developed it for use in their countries worldwide.

Come together Perfect Britain, lets conquer the world, as a mutually agreeable collective…

Evidence of my training!



Looking still ‘chunky’ and mostly out of breath, this is me at yesterday’s 5k parkrun. 

The building in the background is where we got married in ’99. That day of course I was running towards the Hall…

What happened to banking…


While we shouldn’t blame front line bank staff for the banking cock-ups of the last decade, the truth is that the banks have put none sales people into sales roles.  Retail bankers with relevant experience in their traditional roles have had their numbers diluted by this practice.

These sales roles didn’t exist when bank staff consisted of professional bankers. The introduction of selling and sales targets to people who left school and chose to work in a safe respected industry brought about resentment and disillusionment among experienced staff.

Time served staff were hoisted out on the back of restructuring, mergers and takeovers. People who could sell we’re kept, new people who couldn’t sell were recruited en mass, low salaries, possibilities of high commission, high staff turnover.

This new breed of sales staff mis-sold loans, credit cards, insurances etc. They were badly trained sales people with no eye for the intricacies of the complex decisions required of long term, expensive financial choices.

It probably started with deregulation, when companies used to selling tangible manufactured items had the cash to set up banking divisions. Tesco, Sainsbury, Virgin et al, corporations that knew how to shift product.

Like everything that the human race has fucked up, it’s made some rich people very rich, a lot of people ill and will take many many years to correct and improve.


Well I’ve had a nice day…


Sundays normally take one of two forms, lazy day of chilling before the week’s return to work or busy trying to cram activity in, before the week’s return to work.

Today wasn’t really that different, Nicky and I woke before the boys, quite early for a Sunday, earlier than 9 I think.  After a while I could hear Matthew scuttling about.  Matthew is seven, a good age for celebration day scuttling.  On Christmas morning he moves about his room wondering whether it is too early to go wake mum and dad, or maybe his older brother.

Today Matthew was scuttling because it was Fathers’ Day.

I sat in bed, smiling, not because I was going to get spoilt, maybe, but at that boy’s excitement.  Nicky and I had eaten breakfast, I’d been served scrambled egg on toast, tea and fresh orange.  Mum went to get Matthew who in turn went for James  while Nicky carried George in.  That was my day made, wife and three kids on the bed.  My eldest, Tom (step-son) was fast asleep in his room, he works weekend evenings in a bar.  At 6 foot something there was no room on the bed for him to, though I’m sure we’d have squozed up for him.